Want more respect?
Overcoming stress is one positive step towards heart health and weight loss. Here’s a guest post from Doris Helge, Ph.D. She provides a simple technique for gaining more respect so you can get your needs met and enjoy your life much more. Turn anger, fear, and other negative emotions into peace and confidence.
Want more respect?
by Doris Helge, Ph.D.
Even though Jan and Nan are both very talented, Jan’s contributions are applauded while Nan’s gifts are unnoticed. What’s Jan’s secret? Jan has discovered that we are constantly training other people how to treat us. When Jan is treated with disrespect, she politely says, “No thank you” by using the technique in this article. Even though Jan knows we can’t change other people, she knows how to set up situations in which she’s treated well and her needs are met.
The following is an example of how you can gain peace of mind when someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way. My coaching clients call it The Get Respect Now Technique.
DON’T BE AN OSTRICH
Nan tries to ignore her problems like an ostrich that hides its head in the sand. Then Nan moans that life presents her with the same snarly packages over and over. Jan’s approach is very different. She meets a challenge with, “Hmmm . . . I wonder what I’ll learn from this experience?” Denying an unpleasant situation breeds more of the same. The challenge magnifies until we finally say, “Alright, already . . . I’ll deal with this.” Avoid getting hit over the head by a 2×4 by standing up for yourself when a toothpick jabs you. Perceive situations as accurately as possible. A rope is a rope and a snake is a snake. The simple act of acknowledging what exists initiates the potential for positive change. Why? You signal your mind to search for solutions.
AIM FOR RESULTS INSTEAD OF TRYING TO BE “RIGHT.”
When you’ve been treated with disrespect, pause a moment and ponder. How can you express what you’re entitled to in a factual way? The other person may never acknowledge that you’re right because all of us have erroneous perceptions. They’ve been formed by decades of experiences and faulty beliefs.
Do you ever watch a “sunset” even though the sun never sets? Do you ever instantly like or dislike a person you’ve never met? When treated with disregard, your goal is to be heard and get your needs met. We can’t force other adults to change their opinions or behavior. However, we are in total control of how we respond to every situation. We can say what we need to and transform anxiety into peace of mind.
EXAMPLES
Here’s an example you might use at work. “I felt hurt when his contributions were recognized and mine weren’t noticed. I need for my work to be acknowledged.” An example at home is, “When you didn’t call and tell me you changed your plans, I worried about you. I need to know when you’ll be late so I can arrange my own schedule.” Notice: These statements are not drenched with negative emotions or accusations that trigger defensiveness and counter attacks. You gain positive results faster by using “I statements” that acknowledge your emotions. Use the minimum amount of words possible to say what you need. Know you deserve it. This approach will empower you to breathe a big sigh of relief and go on with your next step in life.
THE FINAL OUTCOME
No matter what the final outcome of the particular situation, you’ll meet your personal growth challenge, so this type of situation will occur less frequently. Just use the technique I’ve outlined so you can easily resolve conflicts with “difficult people.” Soon, an effective response to disrespectful behavior will become easy and automatic because you’ll be clear what you deserve. Enjoy knowing you are so powerful that you can infinitely reshape your life. You deserve happiness. Turn every unpleasant experience into a rich opportunity for personal growth.
Visit http://www.FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com and GET YOUR FREE EBOOKS: “Secrets of Happiness at Work,” “Employee Engagement Made Easy,” and “Get the Respect & Appreciation You Deserve Now.” Doris Helge, Ph.D., is 100% dedicated to empowering you to create more meaning, fun, and fulfillment at work. Dr. Doris is an executive coach & a corporate trainer for companies as large as Microsoft. Download sample chapters from Dr. Helge’s latest books, “Joy on the Job” & “Transforming Pain Into Power” at http://www.MoreJoyOnTheJob.com.
Lower High Blood Pressure – Sea salt versus Table Salt
I frequently speak to people that have the misconception sea salt is better for your heart health than regular table salt. From a chemical and nutritional standpoint, both are sodium chloride and you want to limit your sodium intake to 2300 mg (~1 tsp of table salt) or less to promote blood pressure control.
If you use kosher salt, which has larger crystals, you benefit because less salt “fits” in one teaspoon due to the larger crystal size. A teaspoon of kosher salt provides about 1900 mg sodium. Sea salt is available in this larger crystal form, also.
All the best,
Lisa Nelson, RD, LN
The Heart of Health
Trans Fats Banned in California
Good news if you live in California! Starting in 2010 restaurants will be banned from using trans fats in food preparation. This will be a major benefit to those of you struggling to lower total cholesterol, low LDL “bad” cholesterol, or raise HDL “good” cholesterol. To improve your lipid profile you should follow a diet with less than 30% daily calories from fat. Ideally your intake of trans fatty acids should be zero for heart health. Since numerous restaurants affected will be nationwide chains, hopefully the trend will start to spread and avoiding trans fats when dining out will not be an issue after a few more years.
All the best,
Lisa Nelson, RD, LN
eNutritionServices
Raise HDL Cholesterol and Improve Memory
I recently published an article titled How to Raise HDL the Good Cholesterol and I just came across another great reason to boost HDL numbers.
A study published in Arteriosclerosis, Thrombosis and Vascular Biology indicates higher HDL levels equal higher scores on memory tests. This was a 5 year study of ~3700 men and women with an average age of 55 to 61 years-old. The memory test included hearing a list of twenty words and then writing down all the words participants could remember within 2 minutes.
No link was found between triglycerides nor total cholesterol and memory performance. Nor was a link identified between HDL and Alzheimer’s.
For regular heart health and weight loss tips, subscribe to The Heart of Health and grab the special report “Stop Wasting Money – Take Control of Your Health!”
Heart Healthy Lettuce – Reach for the dark, leafy greens
Are you a die hard fan of ice berg lettuce? Iceberg lettuce is a source of vitamins A, C, K, and B6; along with some fiber, potassium, and folate. This probably sounds great, but compared to romaine lettuce, iceberg falls short nutritionally.
Romaine lettuce has 7 times more vitamin A than iceberg lettuce and about twice the amount of calcium and potassium. Also, dark leafy greens contain the antioxidant beta carotene. Antioxidants help protect against inflammatory disorders, such as heart disease.
So, next time you make a salad, by-pass the iceberg and reach for the leafy romaine.
Be sure to sign-up for The Heart of Health and grab your special report “Stop Wasting Money – Take Control of Your Health”!
Achieve a work-life balance for your health!
I have teamed up this month with Joy on the Job expert Doris Helge, Ph.D. Part of living a healthy life is maintaining a balance between your work and your life. When you don’t meet your needs, your work quality, your relationships and your health deteriorate. Everyone loses when you fail to set healthy boundaries and practice the art of compassionate assertiveness so you can enjoy the work-life balance you deserve.
In this guest post from Doris, you’ll learn how to say “no thank you” to what you don’t want and “YES!” to what you do want. Enjoy! Lisa Nelson, RD, LN
Say “YES” to Work-Life Balance
by Doris Helge, Ph.D. © 2008
A client I’ll call Jenny called me in tears. “I have no work-life balance. The people I work with want everything instantly. My husband wants credit when he helps out with the kids . . . as if he isn’t also 50 percent responsible for them! To me, work-life balance isn’t a luxury. It’s essential. If I can’t get some quality time for myself, I’ll be no good to anyone at work or at home.”
Do you sometimes feel like a puppet whose strings are pulled up, down, right, and left at the same time? Ouch!
It’s time to set boundaries and practice the art of compassionate assertiveness. Then you can enjoy the work-life balance you deserve.
YOU ALREADY HAVE THE POWER TO DEVELOP WORK-LIFE BALANCE
No matter what you’ve been told, you are in charge of your own life. You are the only person who can say with conviction, “Wait a minute please. I’m busy right now. As soon as I finish doing ______, I will give you my full attention.”
You are the sole individual who can identify your needs and establish healthy boundaries. You are also the only person on this planet who can maintain your personal boundaries without feeling guilty.
That’s personal power! We’re all very powerful people with a vast array of capabilities. Some of us have forgotten how to be assertive about our own needs. You may think that only harms the person who doesn’t stand up for themselves. Unfortunately, that’s not true. When you don’t say “No” to what you know isn’t right for you, you set a powerful negative ripple effect in motion.
EVERYONE LOSES WHEN YOU GIVE AWAY YOUR INNATE POWER
If you don’t set and maintain personal boundaries, everyone around you suffers. In fact, a nasty chain effect rumbles forward like a runaway train. Because you resent the fact that your needs aren’t met, you radiate an energy of, “I’m a victim.” The people around you react in a variety of ways. Here are some examples.
- Some people will become defensive about their behavior. They may even feel manipulated. Neither reaction will help you resolve the core issue.
- When you play the role of victim, other people rush forward to play the role of bully. They act like wild animals stalking a wounded prey.
- Some people become angry or frustrated when you don’t feel strong enough to say “No thank you” regarding what you don’t want, in a kind assertive manner. They develop a negative opinion about your ability to perform well in the future.
- Some people gather around you and commiserate about your sad situation. You may temporarily feel validated when surrounded by supporters. However, these are dangerous cheerleaders because your circumstances don’t improve when you reinforce the belief, “I’m a victim.”
- If you play the role of martyr, other people will follow your example. Whether you like it or not, you are always a role model for someone.
This brings us back to your personal power. Look at your impact on the lives of other people in the above examples. Since you can affect the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors of the above people in such a significant way, how can you possibly feel like a victim of life?
TRANSFORM YOUR PAIN INTO POWER
Another choice is to set the intention of walking beyond your fear of change so you can become the confident, capable person you are destined to become. What’s the worst that can happen if you take a small step toward your true self?
Make a decision to enjoy the work-life balance you need and deserve today. Each time you say “No thank you” to what you don’t want, you send a clear signal to the universe saying, “YES!” to what you do want.
Visit http://www.FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com and GET YOUR FREE EBOOKS: “Secrets of Happiness at Work,” “Employee Engagement Made Easy,” and “Get the Respect & Appreciation You Deserve Now.” Doris Helge, Ph.D., is 100% dedicated to empowering you to create more meaning, fun, and fulfillment at work. Dr. Doris is an executive coach & a corporate trainer for companies as large as Microsoft. Download sample chapters from Dr. Helge’s latest books, “Joy on the Job” & “Transforming Pain Into Power” at http://www.MoreJoyOnTheJob.com.
